Vergil's Letter
by Gone Away 2345
Summary: He is a man of a few words indeed. Watch it...he has a sword and he's not afraid of chopping a head off. Rated T, because I had to beg him to refrain from using language that's probably more colorful than our favorite demon hunter.


**Forward**: Hell, since there's a huge demand for this…I might as well post it up. And remember, Vergil did not want to write this at all. But after trying in vain to calm him down (without being strangled mind you), I managed to get him to post his two cents on this Marysue crap. It's short though, but I think it makes things crystal clear.

Now on with the show.

* * *

**Vergil's letter**

_In which he vows **NOT **to be as merciful as his brother_

* * *

_Dear writers/pitiful mortals I would love to kill at the moment_

I detest writing these…rants. But because of your disregard for characterization, I will have to carefully explain to you why I should **NOT** be out of character. I just hope your puny brains can comprehend…wait, I **KNOW** your minds will comprehend this, unless of course you enjoy being impaled with my sword. I will cover what my dearest brother neglected to cover so pay attention…or else.

Firstly, we do not have long, _long_, **LONG** distance cousins. We do not have sisters.

No…I prefer my fight with dearest brother to be between us only.

I do not want your pathetic creation getting in **MY** way at all whatsoever. I do not want her preaching about peace, love, and happiness. I do not want to hear her preaching about butterflies, rainbows, pixie sticks, and how we should get along. I do not want to find myself succumbing to her "seductive" nature because she is a so-called vampire. Dear brother and I have a rivalry, and unfortunately that will never change.

Please do take the foot out of your ass and do the necessary research on that.

You call this…infernal creature an original character, when it is in fact the spawn of a hideous demon. She **WILL NOT**, under any circumstances defeat me, regardless of her sparkly-poo bullshit. I will destroy her before she dares to rub her grimy paws on my outfit.

I detest fangirls.

I detest fangirls with their moronic entities called Marysues.

You fools feel that my brother's rant was funny, yes?

You will soon realize that I do not do funny at all.

I am realistic about this threat to **MY** superiority and **MY** plans.

Second of all, I do not laugh like a schoolgirl. I will not squeal with delight because I find your creature attractive. I will simply chop her head off and feed it to a demon dog. The way you have me portrayed is sickening indeed…words cannot express how much I want to annihilate you right now. I am unmerciful when it comes to imbeciles…however I will give you a chance to redeem yourself. Should you fail in your attempt for redemption…I will find you and make you a perfect example for those who will **DARE** write me out of character.

You cannot escape from me.

You cannot beg for mercy.

Your Marysue cannot save you.

I will simply sneer and tear you from limb to limb.

So please, if you value your miserable lives on this planet, follow these procedures.

**#1** Keep me in character. Know that I will not laugh like a buffoon before your creature. Keep in mind that I am superior in every way. I am not a "nice" person. Your creature will never defeat me...she cannot be more powerful than I am, because I can assure you that only her torso will remain if she challenges me.

**#2** Keep that disgusting creature away from dearest brother and I. We do not have sisters or cousins. We do not need fools meddling in our affairs. Should this happen, then I am sure dearest brother would not mind a temporary alliance to hunt you and your creature down. We will not be merciful…I can assure you of that.

**#3** I do not have time killing worthless fools, but if I have to…I will. Do your research, and there will not be a problem between us. Should you write a story with your limited knowledge of our history…that will give me more of a reason to kill you.

Thank you, and have a miserable day.

_Sharpening my sword and waiting for you to comply with the guidelines,_

_**Vergil**_


End file.
